Cancer - What an ugly word!!

This month has been full of anxiety. I went to my primary Dr. because I was having some pain that wouldn't go away. She noticed swollen lymph nodes in my neck and sent me to another Dr. The other Dr. ordered a CT Scan and a biopsy which reported that I have Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Well, that was a shock. Cancer??  In MY body?  Thank you just the same but I don't want it. GET IT OUT!  Next he orders a PET Scan which shows the swollen lymph nodes throughout my body but no tumors. That's good, isn't it? Next he surgically took a lymph node from my neck to biopsy and also did a Endoscopy.  I've had some small surgical procedures but I've never been put to sleep so I guess I was a little nervous about that part. I wasn't nervous until Jay asked if I had told my family. Ok. I guess that's so there will be no surprises if I don't wake up. Ummmm, Hello!!  Be Surprised!!!!! Because I'm here to tell you that I'm always planning on waking up! So I made it out of surgery and the test is back and my cancer diagnosis is confirmed. However, we still don't know where it's located so now we go on a search to find where it's hiding. I kinda think this pain in my tummy is a good indication that it's probably in that area. I'll see an Oncologist next week and hopefully they will get on the trail and run this stuff out of my body. This is not the journey that I've dreamed of. I'd much rather take a European cruise or spend a year touring Italy, Greece, Switzerland. But instead I get to fight cancer. I just pray that God will give me the strength to fight and allow me to win. And in the mean time I'm wondering if there are any things that I should do. Like call someone that I made mad at me and apologize. Or go through my closets and donate stuff or give some stuff to people who could use it. Clean up my house so no one can see what a terrible housekeeper I am. You know....put all your things in order just in case.....Well, I don't think I'll do any of those things today. I just want to use this space to tell all of my family and friends in case you don't already know that I love you. And if  my journey in this life ends before I want it to.....then start reading your Bibles and get to know God and follow His lead because I'd love to see you in Heaven one day. And when you think of me just picture me sitting peacefully at Jesus' feet, smiling, happy beyond any happy feeling you've ever had before.  So until next time....warm hugs and happy thoughts and God bless us all!!