God is Working

Psalm 40: 1-3  
I waited patiently for the Lord;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to God.

I received a call yesterday from my Dr. Since no tumors have been found and I am HPV positive, she is going to start me on a dual chemo therapy next week. She said cancers from HPV have responded well to this treatment and she has reason to give me some hope.I have been in this pit of gloom and doom since she told about this cancer but now I feel like I can crawl out and see some light. And I credit God for having the upper hand in all of it. He has the final say and He has just told me that this is not final. Not right now anyway. I don't know what will happen a month from now. They might tell me the chemo is not working. If they do, I trust God to have another plan. I'm trying to learn to listen for God to speak. I know He hears me when I pray but I have to learn to hear Him because He will guide me through this if I listen to Him. He takes me to a passage in the Bible every time I open it. I always read something that lifts me up and tells me to just have faith in Him. Being able to have faith is hard to do for some of us. Maybe that's why I have cancer. Maybe God is teaching me to have faith. I've been praying and praying for a long time for Him to help me have faith. Maybe this is the way He wants me to learn. Even if the cancer gets worse and they tell me there's no hope, maybe God is teaching me to still have faith. Faith to walk me all the way through it, all the way to Heaven.

There's something else I've learned during all of this pain and suffering. Compassion and Love. So many people have shown me compassion and love. People that I don't even know have been praying for me. People that I have never even met have offered to help. Someone has even said that if I need to go to Texas for treatment they will pay for my air fare to get there. Would I have done that for someone? Someone that I don't even know? My first thought would have been about what I could do for myself with that money before I gave it to someone else. It's always been about me. What's in it for me, what can I do for me, I want it, I worked for it so I deserve it, me me me. No compassion for the homeless people down the street. They are ruining our property values. No compassion for the Habitat house down the street. Get that sign out of the yard, we don't want that in our neighborhood. Did I once walk down there and offer to help get that house ready for a family to move into it?  Did I once offer to volunteer my time to help at the homeless shelter? No I did not. Last Sunday I joined our church. I don't intend to just go there every Sunday and sit in the pew and listen to the preacher. I want to get involved. I want to be an ACTIVE member and the first thing I want to do is get with the local missionaries and start helping people. I joined that church so that I could serve God through it and that is my NUMBER ONE goal for the rest of my life. I still have to fight this cancer but when I am physically able to do something I will be doing it. It's not about me anymore. It's about what I can do to help someone else in any area that God leads me to. I will be listening for His directions from now on. And like the song says "Where He leads me I will follow."  Thank you God!